Today

Today I decided that I wont go to the gym

That I will eat that pint of ice cream

That I will watch and read all those scenes

That I will let myself feel

That I wouldnt think

That I wouldn’t worry

That just for today, I wouldn’t be bothered

That my dreams and goals will still be my dreams and goals

But I’ll just take a step back

Just for today.

On the Process

On the process

That’s how I would like to describe the life that I have right now

On the process

Of loving myself

Of accepting who I am

My hits and my misses

My beauty and my bruises

My intelligence and ignorance

My passion and disinterests

My achievements as well as the set backs,

On the process of waiting

For my big break

Career climax

Healing

And the love of my life

On the process of growing.

-est

She has the wildest mind

A factory of ideas,

Maker of unlikely stories

She has the biggest heart

Lover of minute details,

Emphatic to the oddest balls

She has the loudest laugh

Bearer of the corniest joys,

Painter of colorful grins

She has the daintiest hands

And if no one would write about her

Then these dainty hands

Would do the scribbling

Sometimes

Sometimes, I wish that I am not as invested with my body as I am.

Sometimes, I wish that I just don’t care about other’s feelings.

Sometimes, I wish that I dont pay attention to every detail people say in a conversation

Sometimes, I wish that I don’t set it in me to strive for authenticity, even if it means brutal honesty, in myself

Sometimes, I wish that I just dont care. Period. 

Sometimes. Some times. 

When everything seems about to close in
When they say that chances has become slim
When voices urge my heart to keep on worrying
When my mind can’t find peace and keep on running
I promise to draw in all the strength left in me
And choose to trust the Lord
For there is no one who could calm the storm
And no one would fight for me
Like the Son of God, Jesus Christ.

Not stuck

I’ve always been a girl who dreams to live
See the world and experience life
I dont need it to be easy
Just not stagnant and stuck
I dont need to be filthy rich
But full of memories and life lessons
New friends, new culture
New purpose and new capabilities
I want a fresh start, even if it is standing on unsteady wobbly legs
Just, please, not stuck
Slumped at the same spot

We All Have

We all have fears. Be it of the distant future or of the next few hours.

We all have these emotions. Whether we know its roots or just simply a bout hormonal

We all have aspirations
May it be for ourselves or the people in our hearts

We all have goals
Whether it is something long term or just for a whim

We all have. And sometimes we dont have to validate these things. We dont have to analyze. We dont have to criticize. We dont have to define. We dont have to rig it with time. We just have to let it be.