Today

Today I decided that I wont go to the gym

That I will eat that pint of ice cream

That I will watch and read all those scenes

That I will let myself feel

That I wouldnt think

That I wouldn’t worry

That just for today, I wouldn’t be bothered

That my dreams and goals will still be my dreams and goals

But I’ll just take a step back

Just for today.

On the Process

On the process

That’s how I would like to describe the life that I have right now

On the process

Of loving myself

Of accepting who I am

My hits and my misses

My beauty and my bruises

My intelligence and ignorance

My passion and disinterests

My achievements as well as the set backs,

On the process of waiting

For my big break

Career climax

Healing

And the love of my life

On the process of growing.

-est

She has the wildest mind

A factory of ideas,

Maker of unlikely stories

She has the biggest heart

Lover of minute details,

Emphatic to the oddest balls

She has the loudest laugh

Bearer of the corniest joys,

Painter of colorful grins

She has the daintiest hands

And if no one would write about her

Then these dainty hands

Would do the scribbling

A

It’s a matter of awe when you suddenly find yourself connected to someone. 

When he suddenly becomes a part of your day, may it be large or small in scale

It is nice to know that he trusts you with sacred parts of him

Things you never thought he would share

But getting twisted by his words, his actions and secrets

Overthinking what they mean and what you mean to him

These are the thoughts that aren’t covered by awe.

These are thoughts restricted by fear yet nourished by hope

Sometimes

Sometimes, I wish that I am not as invested with my body as I am.

Sometimes, I wish that I just don’t care about other’s feelings.

Sometimes, I wish that I dont pay attention to every detail people say in a conversation

Sometimes, I wish that I don’t set it in me to strive for authenticity, even if it means brutal honesty, in myself

Sometimes, I wish that I just dont care. Period. 

Sometimes. Some times.