When I’m with you
I’m in a constant state of fear
Fear of looking into your eyes
For my heartbeat couldnt fathom another rise
Fear of brushing my skin against yours
For you might notice my temperature, blazing at the pores
Fear of turning in your arms
For I might coil myself around you like yarns
But then, I’m also the bravest when you are around
For I will take all the blows and pounds
Just to have you in the future and now.
With words I play,
So that I might I say
The things I have in my heart
That I cant seem to part
They have the rhythm
And my hymns within
All, inspired by you
Made for you, too
They have the scribbles
of my love
That hopefully would nibble
Your heartstrings like a dove
They sing about the stars
Which varies in heat
But in the nightsky they leave their marks
And sparkle in repeat
Just like how I feel
Tugs in my heart which makes it reel
Screaming and moaning
Serenading and humming
For my love for you is both passionate and stable
Needy yet capable
Ravenous yet giving
And always kissing.
Sometimes you look at the mirror,
And enjoy what you see.
The lines and the curves
Even the scars which should be concealed
But there are days when you look in the mirror
And had to look away, immediately
Because of the lines and the curves
And definitely by the scars to be concealed.
To see those creases at the sides of your eyes
And be mesmerized by the twinkling in those wonderful orbs
Is where my happiness lies
Because when you laugh, everything in me morphs.
Your crooked smile that lingers
Makes my spine tingle
Especially when you touch me with those soothing fingers
It makes those stars burst and not just twinkle
As I look back on what this year has taught me, I realized that it is to be patient and faithful.
There were a lot of goals I’ve set and achieved this year, and there a lot more to be fulfilled. Some achievements were pushed back and even made me doubt if I would be able to make it, alas my God made it happen and was in the perfect timing too.
At that time as I was waiting and feeling frustrated He kept on reminding me that as long as I made good on my part, then I shouldn’t fret for He would do His part and would even exceed my expectations. And He did. It might not be on my projected time but it happened on His time.
So why am I writing this? It is because He is making me wait again. My timetable has been pushed and reshuffled again and I seem to be in a crossroad, career-wise. And this is a reminder that whatever reasons the Lord has, that it is for my own good. For He knows the plans He has for me. Plans to make prosper and not harm me. And I would hold on to that. And I know that this is also His way of making me more patient for everyone who knows me, knows that i’m not.
So Gel, be PATIENT and TRUST the Lord. And do not be anxious. He got this.